Stress

What better place to write about stress than in a hospital waiting room?

It is insane the amount of things that can happen at one time.
First, life is great. Everything is perfect. Friends are awesome. Happiness is abundant. Stress is a foreign word.

Then, class work starts to fall behind. Grades start to get a little too low for comfort. Major declaration is a pain in the butt and I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room.

Stress is the only word that comes to mind.

I haven't slept more than three hours at a time in two weeks. Just when I think everything is clearing up and I can breathe, I end up sitting in a hospital waiting room.

Sitting and waiting. Waiting for someone to tell me that the only person who has been here for me my whole life has the chance of not being here much longer. It's not like this isn't a routine thing. It's not like people don't have this done all the time. But, I have to be the rock. The solid piece of ground for everyone. For her, my family, myself, everyone.

I feel so selfish for worrying about other things right now, such as the list of things I have to do in the next two days or the amount of people who need my help in completing other things.

Stress is the word that kills me.

Things will get done and things will be fine with everyone. Once everyone else is in recovery and things are complete, I'll have my time to calm. What's another two months of this?

I always thought things would be a lot easier if I had that person to lean on. Someone to tell me it'd all be okay. Someone to ask me how I'M doing. I know I'm selfish for saying such a thing. But, sometimes it would be nice not to be a rock.

But, I'm manage. I'm get through it just like I do everything else. Alone.

Stress. My life.

Smile always,

e.