Friday, October 28, 2016

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar!

I come from a family full strong-willed women. Sitting at the top is my 90-year-old great-grandma, followed by five generations of opinionated, stubborn, beautiful women. Five generations. These women taught me everything I know and continue to teach me every day. All of them.

My granny taught me that nothing is more important than family. No matter what someone says or does, they are still family and you love them no matter what. She spent time teaching me how to make applesauce cake (10/10, would recommend), while telling me stories about how wonderful my grandpa was and how much she loves all her girls. She also taught me that a “handful of Crisco” is literally a handful of Crisco, but that is a completely different story.   






I have learned a great deal from my grandma and aunts also. I have spent countless hours learning how to make pies, coordinate massive family dinners, and debating who makes better chicken salad, Grandma or Aunt TJ. They taught me to always extend a hand if someone looks like they need help, the importance of keeping family traditions alive, and that it’s okay to roll your eyes and tell your husband to just sit down and wait until dinner is ready. All four of them taught me the power of hard work while I worked next to them in one form or another. They have also taught me that it’s okay to speak me mind…and then sometimes I need to keep my mouth shut. (Always take the initiative to learn by example…)



My mother learned these things from these women as well, but also passed much more onto me. She taught me that family is always the most important thing, regardless of what they did or didn’t do. This she took directly from Granny. She’s also taught me that sometimes I do need to keep my mouth shut and respect those older than me, no matter how much I disagree. Only sometimes, though. She’s taught me how to make 98% of the dinners I eat regularly or use as my “show off” meals when someone comes to visit. She’s also taught me to be comfortable with being independent and loving myself for who I am. She’s showed me how to be a great mom and a wonderful daughter.



My sisters constantly show me how three individuals that come from the same two people can be so completely different. They teach me how to be strong, weird, and opinionated. They show me that we can live three totally different lives, but still be as happy as we are. They teach me that the greatest thing in the world is to have sisters (that live far enough apart to not hate each other anymore/ that have grown out of the fist fighting stage). They also allow me to have the best title I ever could have asked for: Aunt Em/Emmy/Mimmy.

I have approximately half a million cousins in this five-generation family and they have all impacted my life as well. They teach me how to be the “level headed” sister/daughter when times get a little rocky. They show me the importance of supporting my children in all their events and life moments. They show me that sometimes it’s okay to stick up for myself, but also that sometimes I need to forgive. They show me that raising my children to love God is just as important now as it was when we were young. They teach me that it’s completely okay to have different opinions from the rest of the fam, as long as I’m safe and happy. We may not get to see each other often, but they constantly impact my life, even when they might not realize it.

All of this comes to mind as I sit in my grandma’s hospital room, keeping her company for the night. Why am I doing this? Because I’ve been taught that no one should ever have to stay in the hospital alone and that my mom needs sleep more than I do. I’ll also be hosting Thanksgiving at my house this year. Why? Because I’ve been taught the importance of keeping family traditions alive and that sometimes the next generation needs to take over. I spend a great amount of time trying to be the best aunt I can be to my minions. Why? Because my aunts have shown me how to love my niece and nephews like they’re my own and to take care of them in any way I can.  I work to be the best sister I can be by constantly visiting or incessantly making phone calls. Why? Because my aunts and grandma have shown me how important a strong relationship between siblings is. I try to be a supportive, loving daughter even though I may not succeed all the time. Why? Because my mom has shown me the right way to care for the woman that cared for us when we needed it. I try to live my life in a way where I’ll have my own five-generation mob of strong-willed women one day. Why? Because Granny constantly teaches me how to love and care for so many people, despite all the good or bad they’ve done along the way.

To wrap this up in one sentence: Girls rule, boys drool.


Love you all J

Smile always,
e.








Sunday, July 17, 2016

Just Some Thoughts

I have been sitting here for a little while trying to think of some profound thing to say regarding life, God, timing, and faith. Instead of trying to win "blogger of the year," I am just going to say a few things that have been on my mind lately regarding those topics. 

First, life. Life is hard. Life can be exceptionally difficult at times. And, the interesting thing about life is that every life is different. Everyone goes through different trials and tribulations. Everyone has their own highs and lows. Two people can share the same experience, but connect so differently on a personal level. The thing that ties us all together, though, is that we're all going through something. We're all struggling somewhere. We are all doing well with something. We all have a future no matter how bright or dim it may seem at the moment. Also, we all have the ability to make changes. I think a lot of people tend to get caught up in the idea that "this is how life is and there's nothing I can do about it." There are always changes that can be made to improve your way of life. Never feel like you're stuck. Never give up thinking you don't have a way out of certain situation. Life is hard. Life can be exceptionally difficult at times. But, life is not impossible. There will always be a way to make things better.

I have found that over the course of my life the easiest way to make things better is by letting God take over. For a lot of us, me especially, that can be a lot easier said than done. I like to be in control. I have always been extremely uncomfortable and overwhelmed when I feel out of control in certain parts of my life. Recently, someone mentioned to me that letting go and letting God take control should actually be comforting, not scary. No one has ever pointed that out to me before and I don't know why I never thought of it that way. How could you possibly feel overwhelmed or scared if God is in control? That should be one of the most comforting feelings in the world. It is still not easy to completely "let go and let God," as they say, but being willing to put your worries on the Lord takes some weight off of a tired soul. 

A lot of us that like to have control also are not super patient when it comes to thinking about God's timing and plans. The great thing about God is that His timing is always perfect. Whether it is the beginning or end of relationships, jobs, major life events, even the smallest of things, God has a reason for the timing. At the time, you may not think it is super ideal, but at some point, you will realize why things happened when they did. When I was younger, I would always question why certain things happened in my life. Toward the end of high school and into adulthood, I started to see how the things that happened in my childhood/teen years affected my life years later. I am so glad I can see more of the picture now and understand why things happened the way they did. We may not always get those answers, but it is comforting to believe that God truly does have a plan for life and His timing is key. Do not rush decisions that need to be made slowly and carefully. Never slow down when God is telling you to keep running ahead. In the end, it will all work out how it is supposed to.

This leads me to my final point which is faith. Always have faith. Have faith in God's timing and plan. Have faith in the brightest and darkest times. Have faith when you're scared. Have faith when you're overwhelmed. Have faith even when things are going well. Never feel like you're alone or abandoned. God will always be there.

A few months ago, I wrote a blog titled "Stay in the Boat" where I discussed how I needed to let God take control over my life rather than just letting myself drown when I'm overwhelmed. Despite coming to terms with my faults and realizing how I can improve my life, I don't always follow through and tend to try to take back over when things start to go smoothly. This summer has given me a lot of time to reflect and take a step back to evaluate different things going on in my life. A few doors have opened over the last few months leaving me to think carefully about some decisions. Sometimes it's overwhelming to think about what may or may not happen. However, as I sit and think about what events had to happen for these doors to open, I can't help but smile at God's perfect timing. I'm working on my patience and waiting for God to let me know the right time and what decisions to make. Believe me, it is not easy. Sometimes I just want to push things and speed up the process, but I know I can't. By trusting in the Lord and spending some quality time in prayer, I know the greatest things will happen. 

Moral of the story, trust in God through the good and the bad. It is not always easy, but it will always be worth it. 

Smile always,
e.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Hanover, Hail to Thee

Yesterday, I walked across the stage in front of my class, friends, family, and faculty and received my Bachelor of Arts from Hanover College. Now that all of the excitement has calmed down, I want to share with you my journey at Hanover.

Flashing back four years, I drove onto campus unbelievably nervous. As we parked the car on Donner lawn, all of my fears went away and I was overcome with excitement. At that moment, I knew Hanover was exactly where I needed to be. Moving through freshman year, I made some lifelong friends thanks to my Great Works class/PA group, hall mates, and fellow choir members. As a freshman, my biggest worries were trying to learn French after taking years of Spanish in high school, scheduling classes to get my LADRs covered, and trying every milkshake flavor at Hinkles.
(Notice the lanyard in the photo. Total freshman move)




As sophomore year came along, I decided to design my own major. I’m so glad Hanover allowed me to design a Neuroscience major and shape my education around my biggest love in the world, the brain. However, I wasn’t completely sure what I had gotten myself into. Classes got harder, the days got shorter, and life seemed a little less manageable. Thankfully, my amazing friends were there to tackle it with me. We went to Savannah on Spring Break, Gatlinburg for a quick day trip, and Taco Bell for many late night cravings. As a sophomore, my biggest worries were taking a class that required a camping trip, scheduling classes to get my LADRs covered, and coming to terms with the How I Met Your Mother finale.

Junior year started with an uphill battle. Over the summer, I’d lost one of my best friends and future roommate to a car accident. I started the year with two friends in Belgium, one friend transitioning into a new school, and no roommate. Despite the distances from these friends, we still managed to remain close and I’m so grateful for that. As I think back to junior year, a lot of emotions arise. I think back to the people that reached out to me even though they never had to. One friend decided one day to sit with me at lunch when I was alone and ended up turning into a daily lunch buddy. One friendship grew substantially thanks to her listening abilities, great hugs, and convenient location down the hall. One classmate decided to reach out and pull me out of my room one day and is now one of my best friends. One unexpected friend talked to me nearly every day and was there any time I needed someone. One professor emailed me at just the right times saying that I should stop by for life chats when I had time. One new professor dealt with me walking into her office in a panic saying things like “I need you to tell me I’m going to get into grad school.” All of these instances and many more make me so thankful that Hanover was the place I chose to call home. I truly don’t believe that I would have found such caring friends and professors at any other school. These relationships will last a lifetime. As a junior, my biggest worries were finding myself, scheduling classes to get my LADRs covered, and dealing with noisy neighbors.

Senior year was insane to say the absolute least. I moved into an apartment with three of the funniest,
craziest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. My 17 major classes were finally complete. I spent hours upon hours running my senior thesis. I presented my thesis at the Butler Undergraduate Research Conference. I traveled a handful of times with the choir. I grew even closer to friends and professors. At the end, I walked away with a $20 bill from turning in my gown and a piece of paper worth $160,000. As a senior, my biggest worries were getting into graduate school, scheduling classes to get my LADRs covered, and dealing with the ghostie that haunted our apartment.

Although these few paragraphs will never truly explain how I feel about my time at Hanover College, I hope it gives you a sense of what the school means to me. I made lifelong friends that I wouldn’t
trade for the world. I received loads of life advice from professors, whether they meant to or not. There were “Life Lessons from Dr. B,” where choir rehearsal would stop for 5-10 minutes while Dr. B shared a piece of life advice. Many other professors did the same. As I’m sure you noticed, a common trend throughout the years was getting those college requirements covered. I love my little Liberal Arts school, but good Lord, those LADRs can get you if you don’t do them early.

President Lambert said something during Commencement that keeps running through my head. He said something along the lines of “I hope you fell in love at Hanover. I hope you fell in love with the cell, the neuron, history, philosophy, art, wherever your vocation led you.” And, you know what, I did fall in love. I fell in love with that tiny college overlooking the Ohio River. I fell in love with the amazing friends I made along the way. I fell in love with the neuron and the brain. I fell in love with the Alma Mater and Irish Blessing. I fell in love with the memories. I’m so thankful for Hanover College and everything it has done for me.

I cannot wait to return as an alumni and see what all the school is doing for others. For now, though, I must move forward for my next journey in life. The University of Indianapolis has some large shoes to fill, but I can’t wait to find my place there too. Thank you all for going on this journey with me.

Smile always,

e.


"Hanover, Hail to Thee"

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Stay in the Boat

Life has not been the easiest for me lately. Between studying for classes, worrying about Comps, running my thesis a million times, and waiting to hear from grad schools, I've found myself overwhelmed the majority of the time.

Over the last week, I let things get to me a little easier than normal and I started to crumble. Every night, I continued to pray for the same things; for myself, my family, friends, and anyone I come in contact with to be safe, happy, and healthy. I got to thinking about why I let things overwhelm me so much and prayed for God to take a little of the weight off, just enough to bring me above water. I know life isn't meant to be easy, so I try not to ask to be pulled out of the water completely. I'm willing to work for things and know God isn't just going to do it all for me without me putting in some effort. But, that's when I realized that God already sent me a lifeboat. He pulled me out of the water when I gave my life to Him two years ago. He doesn't keep throwing me back in; I keep jumping. When things start to calm down, I decide I'll try to swim again.

I'm posting this short blog to say a couple of things. First, I thank God every day for my salvation. I'm thankful for the church I grew up in that shaped me, for the friends and family that helped me find the way, for finding myself in a theology class that changed my life, and for a pastor who drove to me during a snowy day to pray with me when I realized I couldn't do it alone anymore. Second, God will always be there to help you climb in the boat. Trust Him. Let Him have control and stop jumping out when things start to slow down. And, finally, you don't always have to do everything alone. Ask for help. Call a friend. Say a prayer. Don't give up.

Smile always,
e.


Previous Posts:
http://faithhopeandskepticism.blogspot.com/2014_02_01_archive.html